The Car Magazine that laughs in the face of Depreciation
Bangertorial Summer 2010
New Car Warranties - Are They all that?
BRING BACK THE ‘80s
For some of us (who weren’t miners, or even minors below the driving age) it was the finest decade known to humanity and one day I well write a book about it. It would certainly be better than some half-baked Taches to Crashes time travel TV nonsense that pretends to tell it like it may have been. I never met a copper in anything more exciting or more likely to break down than Rover SD1, so a Quattro remained a constabulary wet dream. For the rest of us in the real world we had the pick of some sensational stuff.
 
For a start this was one Mercedes built cars properly. They weren’t all hugely exciting of course but a 560 SEL at full ramming speed was an incredible sight. You could though get Alpina’d 7 series which you really could throw around with wild abandon. Most of those Alpinas went abroad, but you can still turn up a 560 for around a grand and it will still work. I won’t bore you about E Class taxis when what you really wanted was a chuckable 528i in square rigged E28 shape. Downsizing a 190 was ruthlessly efficient, but until the arrival of the Cosworth version the 3 series really was the Guv’nor. It still is. You can still find game old girls who bought their 325is in 1987 and haven’t found anything since that comes close. In two-door saloon form, no they never were coupes, despite what the classified ad writers say, and all the better for it.
 
Audis were always hugely underrated in the 1970s and Quattro aside the 100LS was lovely and the 80 only really showed potential. And yes that is right all the brilliant cars from the finest decade known to humanity were indeed German, no argument. Indeed the very best car ever built back then was obviously the Mark 2 Volkswagen Golf GTI, the 8 valve one. And I don’t think that is even up for discussion.
 
I am extremely irritated by a recent Hyundai press release. Apparently they loaned out three old Rovers to motoring hacks. According to the company ‘wanted to give journalists a taste of what it's like to drive an old car day-in, day out. So we sent them a ‘snotter’ for a few days instead of a nice new press car.’ As I don’t get nice new press cars I only found out about the scheme when it was all over. For the hacks involved it makes a nice ‘now and then’ type story plus it was sugar coated by donations to charity (Women on the Move Against Cancer) £20 for every 100 miles covered. So to criticize those generous people at Hyundai is probably the wrong thing to as £750 was raised, but I don’t care.
 
To me the underlying message of this is just how stupid and misguided it is to own an older car.
Rover is a fantastically easy target as they don’t exist anymore. Surely they could have playfully submitted an old Escort, or Pony. Now I can criticize old Rovers and certainly have done, not least because I’ve put my own taxes into the company. I still have a sense of humour, but I do think it is disrespectful for a foreign car company to have a go at my, admittedly flawed, motoring heritage.
 
In Twitterdom I have had industry PRs telling me how uncomfortable, unsafe and unreliable old cars are. They truly believe that old cars are rubbish, which in some cases they obviously are and have questioned whether I would actually put a member of family in an old car. Well I do. I actually ‘drive old cars day in, day out.’
 
There is a slightly happy ending in that a fellow hack called Keith Adams (go to www.austin-rover.co.uk) saved two of Hyundai’s scrappage fleet. A Metro and a 214.
 
So am I feeling a tad over sensitive about this, just an irritated old man or do I have a point?
We have got the Newspress New Media Award. It won’t change us though, even though Bangernomics now drives a Jaguar. I think we may have got the award be because we don’t take anything too seriously apart from the stupidity of the scrappage scheme and the madness of buying new if you can’t actually afford or don’t actually need to.  Bangernomics would like to say thank you very much...
 Tragic Victim of Scrappage
Read me every week in the World’s oldest and best motoring weekly and online at Autocar.co.uk
Have you noticed how warranties have suddenly become interesting? Well maybe not interesting bit certainly newsworthy. Just the other day the Advertising Standards Authority (ASA) ruling against the KIA Motors’ 7-year warranty seems to support my less than ecstatic column a few months back when I questioned the whole 7-year hitch thing.  For once I was right and sadly it is a victory for those of us who believe that you really need to read the small print however boring it may be.
 
Hats off to Warranty Direct who made a fuss about the lack of clarity in the Kia ads. Obviously it was in their business interests to kick up a stink, but really if it makes the point that car buyers can get themselves better used car coverage by going private that has to be a good thing.
 
It all hinges on wear and tear. In the first few years you don’t expect anything major to wear out or break and if it does just about every manufacturer will entertain a goodwill claim. As the years wear on, so does the likelihood of parts wearing out. Cue all the exceptions. Years four plus are going to be the tricky ones. So the ASA found that KIA Motors had breached its code by not giving enough prominence to the 100,000-mile limit on its seven-year warranty and that the advertisements were misleading because they did not highlight the varying periods of cover for different parts such as batteries and air conditioning units.
 
Once a motor is used you really don’t care about what the manufacturer will do apart from the odd recall for bits that have found to be faulty. Ideally then you would want to insure yourself against future big bills and that’s what you can do independently with a wear and tear clause, which will keep you happy.
 
So beware manufacturers bearing multi year warranties. Better to buy and older nail and get some protection you understand. Indeed some of the used car dealers we speak to for our buying guides know that their reputation is defined by what they sell. For that reason they will warrant their own motors. It may be the rarified Astons, Ferraris, Lotuses and some Jaguars but it is tremendously reassuring that the bloke selling it to you will stand by it, even if it is for six months. Manufacturers could learn a lot from that.
 
However, to quote the revised Kia advert, ‘Terms and Exclusions apply’.